plasticbagvevo:

"clean your room!"

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badman300:

"you are what you eat" i don’t remember eating a huge disappointment

cokeflow:

god mom check my FAQ

endable:

how do people even put up with me like i cant even put up with me

speakeasytherapy:

allkillernofiller:

accidentally bumps into someone

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"you don’t have to keep apologizing" 

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fraek:

do you ever look at yourself and think ‘aw cute’ but then walk two feet into a different lighting and think ‘omg nvm’

raypuaza:

can i stay at your place? no hobo

asian:

all i want in life is

  • fast wifi
  • fast metabolism
  • fast food
  • fast shipping

marceddy:

when people are really rude and douchey and everyone still loves them

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andrewquo:

will sell my body for krispy kream donuts

kaliforhnia:

There’s always gonna be that one person that you can’t get out of your mind no matter how hard you try.

theyre:

Make fun of your baby for shitting itself

compliment:

tries to look cute but fails

burgerkid:

when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you

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